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I was like ‘you have bludgeoned me’ and then we had to awkwardly strip the bed together. Turns out he’s also done the same to two of my friends. One night stands can be very liberating and it’s fun not to have the attachment of drama and whatnot afterwards, but sometimes you feel like a dirty slut the next day. But it all worked out because now he’s one of my best friends. I’ve had some ones where there was just no morning after, like when someone ejects you out of their flat at great speed. If you carried around a one night stand kit, which three essentials would be inside it? If you carried around a one night stand kit, which three essentials would be inside it?

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It was hurting quite a lot but I was drunkenly like, ‘let’s just keep going’.

Afterwards, I felt kind of damp and I looked down to see a lake of blood on his bed. Relationship sex is better because you get some practice and there’s an emotional connection.

Another time, I was absolutely smashed and leaving his at about 4am and fell down the stairs into a heap in the hallway to look up and see the guy’s whole house still awake staring at me. I initially tried to take the bedsheet off without waking him up (obviously failed) so I left sharpish and texted a grovelling apology. One night stands just didn’t make me feel good about myself and they aren’t worth bumping up the numbers for.

Imagine going home with the cutest guy you’ve ever seen and then not being able to go past oral. One guy’s housemates started to blare out ‘Let Me Love You’ by Mario whilst we were having sex. Probably waking up and realising I’d come on my period unexpectedly in the night. I haven’t had a one night stand in over a year and don’t really plan on having one. It takes time to figure out what you both like, and for me, sex is about making a connection and being close to a person you are or could be in love with.

New is always exciting but obviously you lose out on some of the finesse that you have with someone regular. If you carried around a one night stand kit, which three essentials would be inside it? And if I was going to someone else’s, then a free taxi ride home.

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