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The mass-mailer approach necessitates ‘cost-cutting, going to bars, meeting for coffee the first time,’ he added, ‘because you only want to invest in a mate you’re going to get more out of.’”Many genuinely want to find someone special and while they are using every means to meet someone—whether online or in person—they know something is wrong with the current dating landscape. Those who did not find a romantic counterpart in this way would then often be initiated into the bar/nightclub scene, where they could hope to find someone who may want to hook-up—meaning anything from kissing to having sex—which could eventually lead to the two parties becoming friends with benefits, boyfriend and girlfriend, or possibly even lead to marriage years down the road.
In truth, falling in love is hard to resist in midlife.”Any thinking man or woman eventually reaches the conclusion that the practices above do not work.
But how far must dating deteriorate before things change for the better? Many see recent changes as progress—but do the results support this view? Apparently there is now a difference—exclusivity isn’t always promised.
In the context of dating, it removes much of the need for charm; it’s more like dropping a line in the water and hoping for a nibble.”The article further states: “Online dating services, which have gained mainstream acceptance, reinforce the hyper-casual approach by greatly expanding the number of potential dates.
Faced with a never-ending stream of singles to choose from, many feel a sense of ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out), so they opt for a speed-dating approach—cycle through lots of suitors quickly.“That also means that suitors need to keep dates cheap and casual. You’re lucky to get a drink.“‘It’s like online job applications, you can target many people simultaneously—it’s like darts on a dart board, eventually one will stick,” said [a 26-year-old] branding coordinator in Manhattan, describing the attitudes of many singles in their 20s. Over the decades in the Western world, traditional dating was gradually overtaken by the high school “going steady/boyfriend-girlfriend” approach.
Ken Solin, who wrote The Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online, detailed his experience in a self-authored column titled “Dating Over 50: Going Slow Instead of with the Flow”: “Online dating profiles don’t really explain a person, and chemistry requires a face-to-face, so online dating has its limitations.