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By avoiding his “Life #1”, which includes his ex, all-things marriage and the kids — and throwing himself into “Life #2”, which includes dating you, feeling successful and good about himself, he can run away from the burden of his heavy emotions. Without a doubt, child support payments are a huge responsibility and a source of emotional and financial stress for many men.
The thing about anger is that it uses up a lot of energy and space in your separated man’s brain and heart.
That’s energy and space that he can’t and won’t channel into you in positive ways. He doesn’t consistently spend time with his children.
It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.
Two important warning signs to watch for are self-justification and blaming.
You also end up keeping company with someone who is aloof, moody, defensive and/or crabby. If your separated man isn’t seeing much of his kids, this should be seen as a warning, not a “bonus” (cause it’s more time spent with you, right? One reason he’s not parenting could be because he and his wife are disagreeing over child custody and access.